Thursday, June 28, 2007

Self-control is the key to success

Marshmallows and Public Policy
by David Brooks

The self-control test shows the ability to delay gratification correlates with socioeconomic status and parenting styles.

AROUND 1970, psychologist Walter Mischel launched a classic experiment. He left a succession of 4-year-olds in a room with a bell and a marshmallow. If they rang the bell, he would come back and they could eat the marshmallow. If, however, they didn't ring the bell and waited for him to come back on his own, they could then have two marshmallows.

In videos of the experiment, you can see the children squirming, kicking, hiding their eyes -- desperately trying to exercise self-control so they can wait and get two marshmallows. Their performance varied widely. Some broke down and rang the bell within a minute. Others lasted 15 minutes.

The children who waited longer went on to get higher SAT scores. They got into better colleges and had, on average, better adult outcomes. The children who rang the bell quickest were more likely to become bullies. They received worse teacher and parental evaluations 10 years later and were more likely to have drug problems at age 32.

The Mischel experiments are worth noting because people in the policy world spend a lot of time thinking about how to improve education, how to reduce poverty, how to make the most of the nation's human capital. But when policymakers address these problems, they come up with structural remedies: reduce class sizes, create more charter schools, increase teacher pay, mandate universal day care and try vouchers.

The results of these structural reforms are almost always disappointingly modest. Yet policymakers rarely ever probe deeper into problems and ask the core questions, such as how do we get people to master the sort of self-control that leads to success? To ask that question is to leave the policymakers' comfort zone -- which is the world of inputs and outputs, appropriations and bureaucratic reform -- and to enter the murky world of psychology and human nature.

Yet the Mischel experiments, along with everyday experience, tell us that self-control is essential. Young people who can delay gratification can sit through sometimes boring classes to get a degree. They can perform rote tasks in order to, say, master a language. They can avoid drugs and alcohol. For people without self-control skills, however, school is a series of failed ordeals. No wonder they drop out. Life is a parade of foolish decisions: teenage pregnancy, drug use, gambling, truancy and crime.

If you're a policymaker and you are not talking about core psychological traits such as delayed gratification skills, then you're just dancing around with proxy issues. The research we do have on delayed gratification tells us that differences in self-control skills are deeply rooted but also malleable. Differences in the ability to focus attention and exercise control emerge very early, perhaps as soon as nine months. But there is no consensus on how much of the ability to exercise self-control is hereditary and how much is environmental.

The ability to delay gratification, like most skills, correlates with socioeconomic status and parenting styles. Children from poorer homes do much worse on delayed gratification tests than children from middle-class homes. That's probably because children from poorer homes are more likely to have their lives disrupted by marital breakdown, violence, moving, etc. They think in the short term because there is no predictable long term.

The good news is that while differences in the ability to delay gratification emerge early and persist, that ability can be improved with conscious effort. Moral lectures don't work. Sheer willpower doesn't seem to work either. The children who resisted eating the marshmallow didn't stare directly at it and exercise iron discipline. On the contrary, they were able to resist their appetites because they were able to think about other things.

What works, says Jonathan Haidt, the author of "The Happiness Hypothesis," is creating stable, predictable environments for children, in which good behavior pays off -- and practice. Young people who are given a series of tests that demand self-control get better at it over time.

This pattern would be too obvious to mention if it weren't so largely ignored by educators and policymakers. Somehow we've entered a world in which we obsess over structural reforms and standardized tests, but skirt around the moral and psychological traits that are at the heart of actual success. Mischel tried to interest New York schools in programs based on his research. Needless to say, he found almost no takers.

This article appeared on page B - 7 of the San Francisco Chronicle, The New York Times, on Tuesday, May 7, 2006



Tuesday, June 19, 2007

Why wedding ring should put on the forth finger

Why wedding ring should put on the forth finger?
为什么婚戒要带在无名指上?

Just follow the steps mentioned below to realise how god makes this a miracle
请照着步骤做,你会发现上天造人的奥妙

1. Firstly, show your palm, centre finger bend and put together back to back.
首先大家伸出两手,将中指向下弯曲,对靠在一起,就是中指的背跟背靠在一起。

2. Secondly, the rest 4 fingers tips to tips.
然后将其他的4个手指分别指尖对碰。

3. Games begin, follow the following arrangement, 5 fingers but only 1 pair can split.
在开始游戏的正题之前,请确保以下过程中,5个手指只允许一对手指分开。


Here you go...
下面开始游戏的正题。

4. Try to open your thumb, the thumb represent parents, it can be open cause all human does go thru sick and dead. Which is our parents will leave us one day.
请张开你们那对大母指,大母指代表我们的父母,能够张开,每个人都会有生老病死,父母也会有一天离我们而去。

5. Please close up your thumb, then open your second finger, the finger represent brothers and sisters, they do have their own family which is too they will leave us too.
请大家合上大母指,再张开食指,食指代表兄弟姐妹,他们也都会有自己的家世,也会离开我们。

6. Now close up your second finger, open up your litter finer, this represent your children. Sooner or later they too will leave us for they got they own living to live.
请大家合上食指,再张开小母指,小母指代表子女,子女长大后,迟早有一天,会有自己的家庭生活,也会离开我们。

7. Nevertheless, close up your litter finer, try to open your further finger which we put our wedding ring, you will be surprise to find that it cannot be open at all. Because it represent husband and wife, this whole life you will be attach to each other.
那么,请大家合上小母指,再试着张开无名指。这个时候,大家会惊奇的发现无名指怎么也张不开,因为无名指代表夫妻,是一辈子不分离的。

Real love will stick together ever and forever
真正的爱,粘在一起后,是永生永世都分不开的。


[Click here to watch Video Clip]

Here goes the same for physiognomy:
在命相学上也是这样:

Thumb represent parents (大姆指代表父母)
Second finger represent brothers & sisters (食指代表兄弟)
Centre finger represent own self (中指代表自己)
Fourth finger represent your partner (无名指代表配偶)
Last finger represent your children (小指代表子女)