Good Friends

Food for the soul

In kindergarten your idea of a good friend was the person who let you have the red crayon when all that was left was the ugly black one.

In primary one, your idea of a good friend was the person who went to the washroom with you and held your hand as you walked through the scary halls.

In primary two, your idea of a good friend was the person who helped you stand up to the class bully.

In primary three, your idea of a good friend was the person who shared their lunch with you when you forgot yours, you left on the bus.

In primary four, your idea of a good friend was the person who let you copy the social studies homework that you forgotten to do the previous night.

In primary five, your idea of a good friend was the person who saved a seat on the back of the bus for you.

In primary six, your idea of a good friend was someone who comforted you and lent their shoulder to you when you received your PSLE results.

In secondary one, your idea of a good friend was the person who helped you to pass the ''love letter'' to your crush/stead.

In secondary two, your idea of a good friend was the person who comforted you when you broke up with your boy/girl friend, saying that the person is not even worth of your tears.

In secondary three, your idea of a good friend was the person who would come over to your house and help you decide on which clothes to wear on your first date, although she had her date waiting for her.

In secondary four, your idea of a good friend was the person who would help you in the "O" levels' examination when you had chicken pox and on the examination day, you recovered but your friend had the disease and had to stay home for a week.

Now, your idea of a good friend is still the person who gives you the better of the two choices, holds your hand when you're scared, helps you fight off those who try to take advantage of you, thinks of you at times when you are not there, reminds you of what you have forgotten, helps you put the past behind you but understands when you need to hold on to it a little longer, stays with you so that you have confidence, goes out of their way to make time for you, helps you clear up your mistakes, helps you deal with pressure from others, smiles for you when they are sad, helps you become a better person, and most importantly loves you!

Pass on to those friends of the past and those of the future... and those you have met along the way... [crying yet? oh there's more]

Thank you for being a friend.
No matter where we go or who we become, never forget who helped us get there.
There's never a wrong time to pick up a phone or send a message telling your friends how much you miss them or how much you love them.
You know who you are, pass it on to someone who you want to remind.

So send this to all your friends and maybe those who aren't but just watch and see who sends it back. If you love someone, tell them.

Remember always to say what you mean.
Never be afraid to express yourself.
Take this opportunity to tell someone what they mean to you. Seize the day and have no regrets.
Most importantly, stay close to your friends and family, for they have helped make you the person that you are today and are what it's all about anyway.

Pass this along to your friends.
Let it make a difference in your day and theirs.
The difference between expressing love and having regrets is that the regrets may stay around forever.

Sumiko Tan's Article

Too old to make new friends? - by Sumiko Tan

SUNNY, one of my dearest friends at work, will leave the company next month for greener pastures.

He is not my first friend from the office to say goodbye. Over the years, there have been a handful of colleagues who became friends. In recent times, at least three others have also left.

When Sunny told me that he was leaving, I moaned: 'With you gone, I will have hardly any friends left in the office!'

Which set me thinking: At what point does an acquaintance or colleague become a friend? And, to take a step back, what is this concept called 'friendship' anyway? Indeed, what makes you click with one person and form a friendship with him, but not some other?

If a friend is defined as someone I feel completely comfortable calling up at 3 am to bail me out of trouble - and Sunny will do so - then, alas, I don't have that many friends. Other than family members, I can count on just one female friend and three, at best four, male friends. But then, maybe that's plenty.

As someone once said, one friend in a lifetime is much, two are many, three are hardly possible.

FRIENDSHIPS are different from relationships - and thank goodness for that.

You can be great chums with your partner, of course, but a relationship is so much more complex. It is not only about that enrapturing feeling called love, but - if you are unlucky - also a host of murky emotions like jealousy, resentment, anger, pain and despair.

Friendship is simpler and fills you, mostly, with harmless Type B emotions - kindliness, fondness, warmth and cordiality.

With a lover, you make demands and have expectations. But with a friend, you're cool. You don't really owe him anything, or have to explain much, because, ultimately, you demand nothing more from each other than pleasant company and an occasional listening ear.

Love, I read somewhere, is blind, but friendship closes its eyes. How true.

The older I get, the more I value friends. Yet, ironically, I find that it is now not only harder for me to maintain old friendships, but also to form new ones.

When I was in school, friendships came naturally. My friends and I moved in a pack - we ate, studied, gossiped and partied together. We exchanged secrets and gifts, sent cards and gave treats.

Our friendships were firm, and sweet. Coming from an all-girls school, I didn't get to make male friends until I was in junior college. Initial shyness aside, I found that it was possible to have a platonic relationship with a guy, and that they made equally good friends.

By the time I went to university, I was already attached, and had little time to make new friends, male or female.

Then came working life. Through sheer proximity and the amount of time spent together, it was inevitable that some colleagues became more than co workers. What is it that allows you to become friends with some people, and not others? Shared experience is one requisite, and the sharper it is, the better.

For Sunny and I, it was our years spent pounding the same beat, politics. That X factor called 'chemistry' is another, and I suppose this explains how you can be firm friends with people who are very different from you.THE saddest thing about friendship is that it can die. It doesn't come with a lifelong guarantee.

Distance is one killer. Unless you are diligent in keeping in touch with a friend, being far away can drive a wedge in your relationship. Changes in circumstance is another. It has been said that a friend in power is a friend lost, and I have found this to be true. When a friend moves up in life, he will become too busy for you, while you don't want to risk rejection by trying to keep in contact with him. Marriages have also caused friendships to fade as your spouse might not take to your friends. Then there are friendships that die because they have simply run their course.

I had a close female friend whom I had known since we were both 17. About four years back, after 16 years of keeping in touch through the mail, long hours on the phone and giggly lunches, our friendship died. Just like that.

There was no quarrel, no disagreement, no underlying unhappiness or animosity or hurts. The plug was just pulled.

The last time we saw each other was at lunch - in fact, it was to celebrate her birthday. We were our usual loud selves.

After the meal, we gave our usual hug, said our usual cheery goodbyes and made our usual promise to meet again.

We didn't call each other for weeks (which was normal, as we were both busy), then months (which began to feel a bit strange, but nothing to be alarmed about), then, yes, years (by then, it was too late to resuscitate the friendship).

We did talk once, last year, when my father died and she called. I was grateful to hear from her and I know it took a lot for her to pick up the phone after so many years. I wish nothing but the best for her, and am always glad to hear from mutual friends that she is well. Yet, I know that if we were to bump into each other today, it would feel awkward.

If I value friendship so much, why don't I just go forth and make more friends? It is easier said than done. People my age and older are busy with careers and family. I have fewer things in common with those younger. But the fault is mine. At my age, I lack the energy and enthusiasm. Starting and maintaining a friendship might be far less arduous than a relationship, but it still requires effort. Do I have the strength for that on top of the other demands in my life?

So, next month, I say goodbye to Sunny and I am left with one friend fewer at work. British writer Virginia Woolf once said: 'I have lost friends, some by death - others by sheer inability to cross the street.'

Should I spot Sunny - and my few remaining friends - on the street, I trust I can muster the energy to walk up to them and say 'hi'. For, really, that is all it takes to keep a friendship alive.

Friends

Many people will walk in and out of your life,
But only true friends will leave footprints in your heart.

To handle yourself, use your head;
To handle others, use your heart.
Anger is only one letter short of danger.

If someone betrays you once, it is his fault;
If he betrays you twice, it is your fault

Great minds discuss ideas;
Average minds discuss events;
Small minds discuss people.

He who loses money, loses much;
He, who loses a friend, loses much more;
He, who loses faith, loses all.

Beautiful young people are accidents of nature,
But beautiful old people are works of art.

Learn from the mistakes of others.
You can't live long enough to make them all yourself.

Friends, you and me....
You brought another friend....
And then there were 3.

We started our group....
Our circle of friends....
And like that circle....
There is no beginning or end..

Yesterday is histotry.
Tomorrow is mystery.
Today is a gift. (That's why it is called "present")

Whenever there is a Friendship Week, show your friends how much you care.

Send this to everyone you consider a FRIEND. If it comes back to you, then you'll know you have a circle of friends.