Wednesday, January 31, 2007

The Marriage Partner GuideBook

Look for a happy, optimistic person. Find someone who has a sense of humor and can laugh at himself/herself... True happiness springs from a contented heart. Beware the person who is only happy when you are around. You're going to get tired of being responsible for another person's happiness.
You could end up feeling guilty when the person slips into bouts of depression. True happiness is a part of a person's character, regardless of the circumstances.

How does your date treat his parents and yours? Chances are you'll get treated very much the same way. Does he see things that need to be done and offer to help? Or does he put his own needs first?
Manners are important - and they seldom get better after marriage.

Temper outbursts can be the symptom of internal hostility, which is often repressed during courtship as a person is trying hard to be on his best behavior... Take seriously any outburst you observe, and check with others who have known this person in different situations to see if they have noticed this trait... The way a woman treats her younger brother may be an indication of how she will treat her husband.

Be leery of the person who has not learned to express his anger in words and instead merely harbors angry feelings in his heart. Going silent and withdrawing from a loved one because of anger is unhealthy and damaging to the relationship... Be sure you date a person long enough to observe how easily he or she becomes angry and how these feelings are expressed. Ask yourself, "Is this what I want to live with for a lifetime?"

It's almost impossible to solve relationship problems by yourself. Marry someone who will be honest enough to admit being wrong, who doesn't have a habit of blaming others...

Purity is not just an old-fashioned virtue. It's just safer to date someone who hasn't played around... At the same time you should not hold it against a person for past sexual involvement. You cannot always judge a person's true purity by virginity alone... Mind purity is equally important. Is your date pure in his thoughts and speech, as well as behavior? What jokes does he tell? What music does she listen to? What movies does he watch? What books or magazines does she read? Are they pure or suggestive? Mind pollution can lead to disrespect of the opposite sex.

Too often couples play games when they are becoming acquainted... playing games in a relationship is a form of dishonesty. Marriage isn't a game. It's a serious lifetime commitment. Search your own feelings and share honestly during your courtship. Be You.

No one wants to marry a slob - and few do... Bad health habits are difficult to break. That is why it's best to look for a person who has already established positive health practices.

Here are some questions that might detect irresponsibility: ... Does she see things that need to be done and do them? Does he volunteer to help? Does she get to places on time? Does he make lame excuses to get out of responsibilities? Does she take her talents seriously and work to improve her skills? Does he take care of his car and other personal possessions? ... Think about it. Just how responsible is the person you are dating?

Often in a dating relationship, individuals with poor self-esteem glean a sense of value from the person they're with. They become dependent on their partners to make them feel good... If you don't want to live a lifetime having to tiptoe around a person's fragile ego or having to hold yourself back for fear of how your spouse will react, then be careful not to get emotionally involved with someone who has a low sense of self-worth.

Before marriage you may discuss children, but unless you're around a lot of children and can observe your date interacting with them in a wide variety of situations, you really don't have any idea about how he or she may discipline your children in the future. Seldom do both parents totally agree on how a child should be raised. Finding someone who at least likes children is an advantage.

True love is unconditional love. The important question to ask is, "Do I love her faults?" Only when you can truly love the total person, including all the points and bad habits, can you accept your mate for who he is and not secretly wish you could change him.

Good marriage partners grow together. They encourage each other to maximize their knowledge, skills and potential... Make sure the person you date seriously is the kind of person who is open to learning and will make changes when changes need to be made.

The ability to express love through words and actions is vital for an intimate love relationship... look for tender words, acts and touches that are given naturally and "appropriately" through


'As long as we have memories,
yesterday remains,
As long as we have hope,
tomorrow awaits,
As long as we have friendship,
each day is never a waste.'

" The journey of a thousand miles
begins with a single step."
- Chinese proverb

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